I spent the night being awakened over and over with my heart beating out of my chest ...
grateful ... for my husband and his love for me and others ...
yet burdened with anxiety ... for all the ways I routinely fall short ...
in confession because anxiety only exists in the places where trust is absent ...
lifting my focus to the God who is Sovereign ...
praying for so many ... yes so many ...
praying for the broken people ...
praying for those who are compelled to pour out all of themselves for the sake of Christ and for the broken ...
my heart quite literally aches still ...
finding an odd kind of peace in the Sovereignty of God and yet still completely baffeled at how when I get to the point where I am out of everything, even more is required and onward I go
my heart is full, so very full, of the gratitude and love for the one who stands beside me, holds me, makes me laugh, speaks sternly when I need it, and whose heart breaks for the broken, and yet has the strength of a warrior to respond and do what he can ...
my heart is full, yes so very full, of the Hope of Christ, the Love of the Father who goes before me and is also my rear guard, for His tenderness with fragile little me, and for His Strength that is made perfect in my fully open handed surrender...
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