this morning - a break from a busy life

 (post updated 2:00 PM  4/1/2013)

Not Much "Putting it in Writing" going on lately:

I have things I want to process with words downloaded through my fingertips, but there is much I am already not keeping up with and so blogging and journaling get neglected  When do we have time to do all the things we are passionate about?  I don't know.

So there has not been much "putting it in writing" going on here.  I quickly forward little tidbits of scripture, or a picture, or the tiniest bit of some thought, usually shared from my smart phone, that I want to get back to later and put into writing the message, expository or my thoughts, in order to capture a moment or revelation.  However, I usually run out of mental energy or time (usually both) and these things just don't get finished.  I really miss this process, it allows these thoughts to be worked through, clarified and tested, and then articulated.  All of this benefits me.

Today I have the day off from work, and so far I have not checked email, and even spent a couple of hours outside in the backyard watching our pet ducks, listening to the birds, and taking pictures.  I moved slow and mentally and physically, and stayed in the moment.

Most of life is chasing hard after goals that seem like they should be attainable but somehow in the end are illusive.  I push myself hard to find ways to keep up with all those other people around me that seem to be able to do it all. I seem to always be scrambling as fast as I can to make up for all the things that didn't get done in taking care of my family, my home, my loved ones, etc while carrying the pressure and regret of not keeping up with expectations and/or responsibilities at work and at church.  I have poured out this complaint again and again; and again and again I have decided to do things differently; and yet again and again the reality of the priorities, overwhelmingly vetoes my decision to do things differently (slower, with more peace and clear boundaries around what I perceive to be health issues). You are not supposed to let it show in any way that you are struggling, but I do - God have mercy on all those around me, I do.  The heart always has a way of overflowing with whatever is in it.  *sigh*  But I don't want to dwell today on the struggle.  I will leave the rest of  processing all this (the stumbles and successes) for another day's post.  I want this little bit of extra time at home, all by myself, to share a few of the many good things that are all mixed up in the daily life.

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THIS MORNING ...
I went outside into the beautiful backyard.  I was still in my pjs but no one is looking so who cares.  I took my good camera with me and left my phone behind.  It was warm and sunny and the duckie drama was in low gear.  I watched our duckies (pets - well loved and well labored over) talk to each other, wash-up, forage, and the like.  I took pictures and video.  I listened to the birds sing and talk and alert us when a hawk or other predator was near. I looked around at the beauty of this place.  I took it in:  the golden sunlight, the warmth of the sunshine on my skin, the warm slightly breezy air, the sounds so beautiful and full of life, and yet so peaceful and disconnected from the sounds of the hustle and bustle of streets, and businesses, and the many hums of our electronics, heating and cooling systems, etc.  I listened to (and watched) the wind, squirrels, birds, ducks, insects, etc.   This spring morning was so very peaceful, and I just relaxed and let myself float in it.

There is nothing that quiets my soul as much as things like this, even all the noise and all the conversations in my head quieted down.  ... and I breathed in the peace of God.  In this very moment with fingers at the keyboard recording my morning, I know that this is the stillness God refers to "in be still and know that I am God" ... his calm peace inside of me.   Oh that I could (or more accurately would) carry this rest, peace and stillness with me throughout each of my days.

I am very thankful for this morning for the "stillness" for the peaceful pace, for this ceasing from striving and for the quiet acknowledgment of God's mighty yet tender presence.

It was a very nice morning.

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EASTER
It was a good Easter.  Easter is the best day for me ... my heart is full of so many thoughts too many to pour out here ... the risen Christ is everything to me.  I shared this day with my daughter right next to my side (in body and spirit).  I love my husband, who came home from a long day of work and struggled to stay awake long enough to watch "The Bible" on TV with us, who hushed my daughter and I when we would make comments, so that he could pay attention.  I liked that today was only about celebrating the resurrection  and honoring and celebrating what God has done for us, uncluttered by less meaningful other things.

Not completely void of less meaningful things though.  

When I stopped for gas on the way home 

I did pick up a few pieces of Easter candy.

Easter leftovers - mess :-)

AFTER THOUGHT
I seem to have run out of mental steam as I was journaling about Easter *sigh* While I still remain thankful for the wonderful peaceful morning and really appreciate the time to blog/journal today, I wonder if it is time to close this blog and start another one called "Snippets from Sam's busy life".