practice unconditional acceptance and unconditional love

I am trying to learn humility and how to do unconditional love better.

Some days I really really mess up!!

This post really challenged me 
"The foundation of a healthy relationship is the agreement to practice unconditional acceptance and unconditional love. While we agree to stop trying to control each other, we also stop accepting negative behaviors." Danny Silk ‪#‎KYLO‬ (Keep Your Love On)

I freely admit that some days I fail big time at "unconditional acceptance" and other days I swing too far in the other direction of "unconditional acceptance of behaviors".

I am challenged by the question, "Can I really  communicate, 'You get to be you no matter what you do or who you are, you get to be you. AND I get to be me. But you really do get to be you.'?" 

The following are quotes by Danny Silk from his teaching, "7 Pillars: Creating Healthy Relationships"

"When you being you scares me, I want control of it.  Which means you don't get to be you."

"I am afraid of you hurting me so I will control what I think will lead to you doing/being ___."

If you are successfully controlling me, if fosters anxiety between us.
It works like this:
~  I'm afraid.  I want control. -- You are afraid of what I will do if I don't give you control. So you give me control.  ~  Now I control part of your life, which reinforces that if I wasn't in control of that part of your life, it would hurt me. That's why you gave me control of it. -- And this part, and this part, and this part, and now we have a system of fear. The spirit of fear is being reinforced between us because -- you don't get to be you around me because ~ I am afraid of what would happen to me if you were you. 

"The unconditional acceptance of who you are is not the unconditional acceptance of your behaviors. It's just the unconditional acceptance of the fact that I don't control you and that it is right for you to be you around me.  But there are things that you do that scare me.  The way you spend our money. The way you treat our children. The way you talk to me. What you value.  What you don't value.  There are things that will come up in our relationship that scare me. You still get to be you.  I don't get to control you.  There will be confrontation. There will be conversation/communication.  There will be discussion around these things that are anxiety points.  But my goal is not to make you me."

WOW!!

Love is EVERYTHING to me.  Because without love REAL love we are nothing.  I have so much more to learn about love and boundaries - and humility and meekness.


Listened to a preview of this teaching here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FP7AAD4HuVE