Trying to say something about today being a gift

Trying to say something - to clarify it in my head and heart - and put into words the obvious :-)

It is Saturday.  Neither Shawn nor I have obligated ourselves to work-work.  We are both home and have set aside today to be a housework day. But I procrastinate with Facebook YouTube etc.  there is a selfish part of me that wants to hide from myself the evidence of all the household neglect.  Plus, I tired.  I know. I know.  We are two income couple with no children at home (empty nester / next-er).  I can't explain it it really but my life and calendar are just as full of responsibilities as when we had children at home; and I am tired.  So I selfishly want to laze around and do nothing for another weekend.

Here is the thing though.  I know what a gem of opportunity lies right here within my grasp.  A bright sunshiny day (I love and thrive in the sunlight).  A day alone with my husband; even if it is to be spent cleaning, for me the real depth of relationship comes from the partnership of working together through the mundane and the difficult, as well as the joy.  A opportunity to feel less guilt and embarrassment when company comes over soon.  The peaceful atmosphere that will be achieved if I get to it and get things cleaned up.

I want to be very intentional about enjoying this housework day with Shawn.  To push past the procrastination that regret about neglectful the condition of my house and my energy level, and past the fear of falling short of another goal.  Why is it that it is so easy to deceive myself into thinking that it feels worse to try and fall short than to not accomplish because I didn't try.  It is weird that trying and falling short of a goal equals failure to me, but not trying somehow holds the possibility that maybe if I tried I could have accomplished the goal.  It is a mean trick my mind plays on itself.  Because I accomplish nothing without effort; and efforts that fall short of goals accomplish MUCH, not just the work that is done but the growth of my character, and increased knowledge through experience.

So here it is:  I am putting done the electronic devices, turning off the TV, leaving the bible and my books sit where they are and getting up and moving.  I will take advantage of this opportunity and I am doing it with thankful joy.  I know that today is a gift I will never get another chance to embrace and enjoy.  I choose to get up and enjoy it and I am privileged to do so in the sunshine and with my love, friend and life-partner Shawn.


Apologies to those foe which this post may hit them sideways:
I know there are family and friends who long for a life partner/a spouse and I am really really really not trying to be mean and flaunting about what I have and that you long for.   I am sorry and I pray that you find what you are searching for.  I also know that many of my family and friends are swapped with the exhausting responsibilities of taking care of loved ones within your home and family, and that for me to express that I am tired and my life just as full, when the only dependent I have at home is my husband, this may make me seem like a spoiled selfish complaining brat, and may seem like I am dismissing how hard things are for you.  I certainly am not trying to do that.  I know things are hard, and I hope that your day is filled with little moments that give you a minute of rest and/or refreshment.  I hope that your day is sprinkled with little details that make you smile.  I really do.  Please know that my life and thoughts posted are in no way shared to diminish your struggles, nor to take away the deep satisfaction you deserve to feel for all that you have and all that you accomplish in your day (everyday).  As I write this and think of so very many friends and loved ones ... I look into your lives and I am proud of you. None of you are perfect but all of you are accomplishing something GOOD!

Okay ... I am off of here and out to embrace this day!



Published February 2014 at 10:00 am