NEXT

Maybe I haven't found it yet, but there seems to me to a lack of encouragement and support for the "next" group of women.  Empty nest is what I guess most people call this season. I just find this term way off for my experience. My life in this "next" season is NOT empty. I am not referring to adult children moving back home, at least not yet. I am referring to overcoming the disappointment of realizing that it was a delusion, to believe and plan to have more time to do things when my children were grown. Life is always full of challenges and opportunities that rush in at you.  For the most part, I feel like I have made it through the disappointment, and have accepted that there is never "more time" that can be relied on in "tomorrow" or in the "next season". 

I am one of the few in my extended circle, that is has a solid happy marriage. As I (we) make our way in this season, we don't find it "empty" instead we find that it is fun and exciting to make the extra effort to build and grow our relationship and the comfort and security of knowing each other and experience of having already done life together; knowing your children move on but you get to keep your spouse by side for the majority of the rest of your life (God willing, and barring any tragedy).  

On this side note, I am very sadly aware how precious and rare it is to have this amazing gift of still being happily married and to have both of us working to grow and strengthen our relationship. I realize that it may be hurtful to others to talk about this publicly, and yet at the same time those "younger" in their marriage need to know that not all relationships are doomed to heartbreak. First it must be said that God is the central part of this holding and enduring, but not all of it is God. Much of it is the tenacious determination to stay together no matter how awful and heartbreaking certain seasons (decades) are; mixed with the humility to surrender and compromise; knowing your marriage is never safe and that there all sorts of temptations all around and you are never immune, so you have to guard and protect yourself and your relationship, being willing to give up certain liberties in order to protect the relationship and keep yourself or your spouse from a great fall; and accepting that although this takes two working at all these things and more, it is rarely a simultaneous effort. But, to bring myself back toward my topic, the "next" season has it's unique challenges in marriage, but working to do this together can definitely lighten the load and can be fun.

I subscribe to several ministries that offer daily encouragement to Godly biblical Christ following women. But most of them are focused on women with kids under 18 years old. Most of the truths of the Word of God are timeless and apply to any age or stage of life, but I am interested in hearing the voice of the women in or just past their "next". Maybe there are ministries out there for this season and i just haven't found it yet; or maybe they are as crazy busy working through it, like me who barely seems to have time to blog or journal anymore; not to mention that the potential ministry leaders for this season are dealing with the physical changes that challenge us in this season.

Wow! That was a lot of words! Did I say anything, or did I just complain.

NEXT ... I am living in the "next". It is different full of unexpected turns, but full of opportunities. As a woman of God I am always looking for resources to keep me growing in love, joy, peace, and righteousness and to enjoy the day every day.




published March 23, 2013