love in the silence

Sometimes...You get so busy trying to do well at the details of life that your end up in that “busyness” not making the time to connect often enough with loved ones. This is true of me and mine.
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There are parts of our family where for the most part our life circles don't intercept. I deal with that, by accepting that my life responsibilities and their life responsibilities are the reason for this separation. It is not lack of love or irresponsibly that keeps us apart.
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Yes, we like our independence. We have for several years we have made a very big effort to not lean on family or ask for any help. I know it will likely seem to some of our family members that we only call you when we need you and for that, I am very very very very very sorry. We do NOT want to burden anyone. We know that we spent too many years in the beginning of “us” doing that. We take pleasure in doing it by ourselves as much as possible. We raised ours to be the same. (I, now, can see this from a parent’s point of view, and understand that can be frustrating. But I also know the sense of self worth and satisfaction that comes from doing life without always having to lean on others.) I am afraid that last statement will offend many. It wasn’t meant to. Look. Ask our parents, we did not and do not do our lives solely independently... and when the need was truly there, we asked (and do ask) for help. It is just that we have made an extra big effort not to do this over the last several years. We are aware that there are others who need help so much more than we do. Furthermore, we see that certain family members are working hard to take good care of these others. Rightly so.
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But it is NOT that independence that is keeping communication sparse. It is, that even though we are doing fine – doing well, the demands of life and the immediate keep us busy.
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I am sorry if the sparseness of communication makes you feel unloved. This is not true. We do love you. We do care.
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And we miss you!! We really miss you. I wish we had all the time and energy in the world to do nothing but visit, communicate, and support in a variety of different ways all of my loved ones. I know I am missing-out on some very important things. Time slips by so very quickly. I know that I will not get the chance to get these things back… and yet I struggle with how do I not miss them. How do I give the fullness of my love, energy, and attention to some important things without missing-out on the others? I am sadly convinced that it is impossible. Some things will always be missed. I can only do well at what I can do. I wish I could be all things to all my loved ones. I really do. But I can’t.
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I will try and call and touch-base; to try to re-connect and share more often.
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Know this my loved ones – YOU ARE LOVED, even if from a distance, even in the silence.