Saturday, June 06, 2015

Good Morning Saturday


It is 8:55am in these pictures.

I am thankful for a quiet Saturday morning. The sun is shining and my thoughts are less stuck inside illness.

- - - - -
Forgive me a minute while I process my experience.

This bronchitis and secondary sinus infection have been no joke. I have been hit really hard. It knocked me off of my game big time. I have barely seen or talked to anyone in over a week.

It sorta like I feel in a deep pit of illness(es).  

I felt a significant cultural marketplace pressure to pretend away my illness and keeping going and cover up my symptoms - although the cough would not and could not be suppressed. I succumbed somewhat to this pressure.

As the illness drug on and I missed a few church services, I internalized a cultural social pressure to do be better already and pretend away my illness and keeping going and cover up my symptoms. I don't know if the social pressure I felt was real or imagined because the people reaching out to me are kind genuine people. I am leaning toward imagined.
 
I tried to work from home on Monday but accomplished very little. I worked a from home Tue about 6 hours and a full day from home on Wed.
Wednesday was the first day I felt any improvement.
I was back in the office Thur arriving late and Fri on time for a full 10 hour day (in spite of my efforts by Friday I was WAY behind).
I think if my situation was different my body would have benefited from only resting not doing any work through Thursday, but that wasn't the reality I was living in.  
Thursday and Friday brought a new layer of symptoms and new exhaustion, which I am guessing is a secondary sinus infection. I'm already on antibiotics so there isn't any thing more I can do about it.   Tuesday through Friday I dealt with some EXTREME whiney grumpiness in myself and I am sure it poured out to others *sigh* I don't like that. :-(
- - - - 

Back to this morning

I am super thankful this morning for the stillness and the sunshine. I am thankful for the words of my daughter from last nights conversation that ask, "Wait, is that true?" (She was encouraging with tender love to check my thoughts and feelings - they were "cultural, expectations but not true). And her words and excitement over God's Word - how rich and deep and consistent it is and how much she loves it and how the Holy Spirit uses it and is always in agreement with it - a love we both share.

I am grateful for the faithful love of God. 
 
I am thankful ... 

Yes very thankful for so very many things.

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